He gives beauty for ashes

Easter weekend began a new experience on my journey. On Sunday I heard the Easter story and I was reminded again how much He loves us, I'm so thankful for His amazing love.  As I heard this chorus, "Amazing Love" , I could feel it in my heart. Before church began that morning I had styled my hair like usual, well the next time I went to use my curling brush I noticed there was quite a bit of my hair left in it. Tuesday when I combed my hair I could feel that my hair was becoming detatched because it was shedding with little effort. I had already mentioned to my Granddaughter, Jamie that I may need to cut it short before it began falling out to minimize the impact. We were all just glad it didn't happen before Easter. Well, by Wednesday night I knew that I would need more than just a haircut. My choice was to allow my hair to fall out little by little, day by day or brace myself for a shave.... my decision was to take it all off. It wasn't an easy decision.  Paul and I showed up on Thursday at my son's house where Jamie has a make-shift hair station set up for family and was greeted by my Daughters and Granddaughters and a bouquet of flowers with a balloon and a card expressing their love and well wishes for one more step towards being cancer free. We all shed some tears and shared in hugs of support. Then it was the moment of truth. Jamie sat me in the chair and positioned the flowers over the mirror, just so, to block my view. We all took some deep breaths and I tried to put on a brave face and make light of the heavy situation. My Grandson Joe was on speaker phone and gave some pros to having a bald head, since he used to shave his head. I knew it wasn't easy for Jamie to do what needed to be done, so with some tears (shed by us all) she began. When it was all over she put my new hair on. It was itchy and didn't feel right, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. A warm, soft hat feels best, there's still a bit of stubble left on my head that makes it feel scratchy. I asked Paul to shave it down to make it softer and that helped a bit. I figure with time there won't be any stubble left. 
The next day Jamie called me and asked me to check out her blog. So I did. Needless to say this Grandma shed some more tears and I realized that the changes that I see, that my body has gone through, has only made my heart more thankful. I'm thankful to God for the gift of family, what a treasure we have. Like Jamie said, cancer may invade part of my body, but it can't change my Spirit.
I'm reminded that I am still Paul's wife, a mother to Stan, Pam, Lukie & Larry, Grandmother to Jamie, Jared, Joe, Emily, Mackenzie & Jessica and a Great Grandmother to Hunter, Logan, Grady, Naddile & Deegan.  I will always cherish my responsibility of being that person I am in Christ.

I'm getting used to the new me, in fact I've received quite a few compliments on my new hair. I have another appointment tomorrow to try on another wig, so next time you see me I may have yet another new do.
When I was describing the song I heard on Easter to Jamie, she began singing another song she thought I was talking about, I think it may be more than a coincidence the song she thought of was, "Beauty for Ashes"?

Well now that I have a bit more energy I can go into more detail about my treatment. I was dreading the chemotherapy but actually, when it came down to it the treatment itself went pretty well. The people & staff at the cancer center were very supportive and caring. I couldn't believe how many people were there, most were very encouraging and openly shared their own stories. I arrived at the center at 9am and the first thing they did was draw my blood. I had a doctor appointment with Dr.Bronstein shortly after that and he explained the medicines I was going to be given and how they would affect me. Next, Gretchen took me into the chemotherapy room which is a nice open room with cubicle type areas separating you from the next person. Each cubicle has a reclining chair, window, TV and tray. Paul and my daughter, Pam, came with me and once I got comfortable in the chair the nurse came to start an IV in my arm. It took about 2 1/2 hours for it to be administered. So basically I sat and chatted with those around me. After that was finished I received a shot to help increase my bone marrow and boost my blood count, that's what was painful. By this time it was 1pm and we headed home. I felt a little tired but that could have been from not sleeping the night before. I couldn't shut off my mind from worrying about what was to come.
Other than being tired I felt fairly normal for a few days, around the middle to end of the week I started noticing I had some pain in my hips. That's one of the side effects of the shot they give you is your bones literally ache from regenerating my blood. I had some other digestion issues and general discomfort, but over all it was tolerable until the 5th day. Saturday I had some nausea and the pain in my hips and back became unbearable as the day wore on. By that night I could hardly stand or walk. Let's just say that night was a long one. I prayed for it to let up and with lots of prayers, pain medications and laying flat on my back I was finally able to sleep. I felt like my back would crack if I sat. Sunday morning I reluctantly stayed home from church.
A week after my treatment I met with my doctor to go over my lab work. I was anxious to see what my white blood cell count was and come to find out it was remarkably high! Everything came back with flying colors, Praise the Lord! The best news was that the shot for my bones may not be needed after my next treatment. I think it was apparent that the shot was doing what it was suppose to judging by the pain it caused. The only other unpleasant side effect is a rash that developed on my hands but once I mentioned it to my doctor he immediately prescribed a lotion and it has healed.
My next concern is... hair loss. So far I have managed to keep all my hair, aside from the usual shedding. But, I have heard soon after the 2nd treatment that may change. Most people experience hair loss anywhere from 2weeks after the 1st treatment up until after the 2nd. I took my Granddaughter Jamie with me and we went to Impress salon, to visit Jan Corn who specializes in wigs. We found a couple that I like, not near as much as my own hair but it will have to do. So, the next time you see me I may have a new do.
I will update you after my next treatment, which will be on April 13, thank you for keeping me in your prayers.